Change the Image

Sexiness wears thin after a while, and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh everyday, ah, now that's a real treat! - Joanne Woodward

We all have an image of the kind of mate we would like to have. Men want a gorgeous blond, with big blue eyes and a butt they can bounce a quarter on. They want a woman with breasts that would make any man drool. Women, on the other hand, want a tall, dark, handsome and successful man (MONEY). We have all been thinking like this for years and years, and we will, unfortunately, continue to do so. The smart ones, however, expect and concentrate more on what's in the inside of a person, rather than the shell.

Of course there has to be some physical attraction there, but a smart woman looks for a man who has sensitivity, compassion, listens to her when she talks, has patience, and can be a great friend and lover. Looks go so far, but having character, a personality and other inner qualities is something totally different. A lot of men are finding that out also.

Men have been sleeping around since they've been old enough to figure out that their dumbstick can be used for more than just hanging there like an ornament and peeing out of. After a while of dating for so long, they then tend to settle down and want more than just sex with a different woman all the time. They too want someone with inner qualities. And yes, great sex also! Some of these men are tired of sleeping around (I said some of them, not all of them.) and want more. They want a woman with substance, just like what you would want in him. These men, who at one time liked to have different girls at their apartment every weekend, no longer want that. They are tired of dating and want to settle down with just one woman; a woman who can make them happy. Many men want a woman with substance. One who is worth marrying.

There have been a lot of men in their younger years who have dated attractive women, and as the years passed and this dating thing got tiresome, they wanted to get married. Quite a few landed up marrying a woman with just plain-looks. Sure there had to be some physical attraction, but they were no longer that hung-up on a beautiful woman as when they were younger. They wanted more. They wanted a faithful, sweet, caring and loving wife. I've seen it, and probably so have you. Go figure!

Sometimes I like to people watch. I'm a pretty simple guy and it doesn't take much to entertain me. Some people are more enjoyable to watch than going to the zoo. Try it. It's fun. I have noticed so many attractive women who are married to plain-looking men, and who are shorter than I would have imagined. There are many men and women who are wise enough when it comes time to pick out a mate to spend the rest of their lives with. They want more than just looks and what profession their future spouses have, they also want inner beauty. They know from experience that, in the long, run, that's what really counts.

Can you imagine yourself waking up with the same old boring person every morning, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, just because you were attracted to his looks and what he did for a living? Not really loving him like a wife should? Inner beauty is essential for a loving, healthy relationship. Sure, you can have both, but why not increase your odds by giving the plain-looking guys a chance also. You'll be surprised by the results. Many women are surprised when they find themselves with a totally different man than from what they have their mind set on. You just might fall for a man who's not so tall, not so handsome and with not so much hair on his head but he instead has warmth, understanding, personality and a sense of humor. And...he will actually listen to you!

Changing your thinking on the kind of a man you want him to look like can open new doors for you. You should reprogram your thinking so you can have a wider choice of men out there. If all you do is think of tall, good-looking men, you will miss out on the plain-looking ones who could be right for you. You want to increase your odds, not decrease them.

Instead of setting your sights on men who has to be at least 5'10," go out with the ones who are shorter than that. If he doesn't happen to have a full head of hair and he is not as good looking as you would like him to be, go out with him anyway. FORCE YOURSELF, OKAY?! You will have more men to choose from, and then you will have more of a chance of meeting your future husband.

But I want more. I don't want to settle for less!

That's fine, you should have more, but...make sure that "more" is right for you. And who says that a woman who marries a man who isn't tall or handsome is settling for less?! That's just nonsense! Do you think when a woman falls in love and marries a man who isn't tall or handsome, she is settling for less? Only materialistic, shallow women think that. When most, not all, women say they don't want to settle for less, it usually means they want a tall, handsome man, with money. What happened to inner beauty? You can have both, the whole package, but don't just look for the outer shell of the man, look more for what's on the inside.

If the next guy who asks you out doesn't fit your mold for the ideal man, go out with him anyway. What is it, a two-hour date? Big deal! Give yourself more time to go out with the plain-looking men also, and then let's see what happens. You just may be surprised by the results. We all know that many, many women have, and now they are happily married. They wanted more, and they got it, through inner beauty!

Now I'm not saying that all men who have money and the good looks to go along with it don't have good qualities. I've known a few great guys who you would call "the whole package." In fact, and here's a little irony for you, they even have a hard time finding the right woman because there are so many who look for material things in a man rather than what's in his heart.

Like many men say, "It's hard to find a woman who wants to be with you for who you are and not what you have."

Well put!

The odds are against you though that you are going to find that whole package. Oh he's out there, it's just hard to find him.


It's the same with the man when he's looking for that perfect woman. He's looking for that one attractive woman with the long, flowing hair and nice body. At the same time he wants her to be sensitive, gracious and not at all materialistic and shallow. So of course that street goes both ways. Do you have a friend (male or female) who has the whole package? Do you have this whole package? It takes more time, more headaches and more heartaches when looking for that whole package...doesn't it?

Think about this: A lot of those attractive people out there REALLY don't take the necessary time to get know each other before they marry. They are so taken with each other's looks that it's like never mind what he / she is like in the inside. And, many wealthy people living in high society and with style land up marrying in their same class also. How many of these couples do you think are really happy, like they should be?

If you have the time and patience to wait for him, by all means do it. But if you don't want to wait, possibly years, look more for what is inside him. Yes, years! Time can pass by rather quickly, especially when we get older. Before you know it, years have passed by, all because you have decreased your odds.

I don't know what it is but give people beautiful looks, a life that is easy and successful, without them having to work for it, and they have as much personality as a dial tone. ... And, with virtually no character to them. Isn't it like that a lot of times? Men have noticed that in women and women have noticed that in the men.

So instead of looking for the King, how about looking for the stable boy with a King's heart? You'll have that right man a lot quicker...and with fewer headaches.

It is so easy for some people to find a compatible mate. For others.... Some have it, some don't. I don't know, maybe it's just luck. For those of you who don't have any luck with men, you should take a closer look at yourselves. You really never know, it could be just the little things which could be a problem, or one big, not so obvious one.

Being too picky can also hold you back. None of us are perfect. Are you? You don't think some men are picky with the women they want to go out with? Maybe you were one of them he chose not to go out with because he was too picky. There are so many women trying to find that perfect man that they bypass all the good ones, thus wasting their time. The smart women land up with the kind of man who they never have imagined being with in the beginning because they looked for more of what is inside him, rather than what's on the outside.

You know it's hard to find that Prince Charming, but you keep looking anyway, all the time ignoring the men who aren't as attractive or successful. These men are all around you everyday. There are thousands who have a great sense of humor, a bigger heart and can make for one hell of a mate. You increase your odds in sabotaging your love life before it can even get started, just because you look for the man who could be taller, better looking and / or has a better career. The odds are greater that in return for this you get loneliness, disappointments and frustrations. You may have found such a man in the past, but was he worth the wait? Was he what you were really looking for? Did he make you happy and fulfilled? Since you are reading this book, evidently not.

Look more for his inner beauty! At the same time you will be increasing your odds in meeting more men.

You should look for husband-type qualities in a mate. After all, you want to spend a lifetime with him. You want him to be a good father and husband, don't you?! Too often you are in for a long wait when you start being too critical and start turning down good, potential men, waiting for something better. Take a good look at yourself...are you perfect for the men out there? Then what are you doing trying to find him?!

You may find money, great looks and a successful career attractive in a man, but will he be sincere, passionate, romantic and be there for you when you need him the most? Will he be there through the good and the bad times, for the rest of your life?

Start today, right now, and tell yourself:

It is too hard to find that perfect, flawless man. It is rare to find a human being on the face of this earth who has ALL the qualities that we look for in a mate! I'm not perfect, I don't have the whole package, so why should I expect the same from him? Who cares if he isn't as tall or handsome as I would like him to be? So what if he's losing his hair? If he is kind, funny, romantic, has patience on things and with people, and be there for me when I need him the most, nothing else matters!

Keep reminding yourself of this over and over again.

Remember, it's up to you and what the rest of your love life will be like. You can either greatly reduce your odds and keep looking for that perfect man or increase your odds in finding that right one by looking for that real man who could be closer to you than you think. This time REALLY be happy instead of just a little happy and content. Don't you want to have a fulfilling, sincere and happy love life?

You have to wait for that right person for you. Meaning, you have to like his personality and character. And yes, of course there has to be some attraction there. He has to be at least cute enough for you. Dating a man with half his teeth missing, and him thinking that wrestling is real is not what we are taking about here. WHAT! WRESTLING ISN'T REAL!

You Don't Know What You Are Missing If You Don't Look For Inner Beauty Also.