Valentine's Least Romantic Gifts

Hey honey, I love you. Here's a Nordic Trak. Happy Valentine's Day.

When it comes to romancing their partner, it's clear that cupid's arrows certainly can miss their mark. There are a lot of unromantic people, losers in the love category, who believe exercise equipment or housewares make appropriate Valentine's Day gifts.

In a recent survey on, we posed the question: What is the least romantic gift you've received on Valentine's Day? Here are the top three winners (or losers):

Gold Heart: Roses, with a card for another woman!
Silver Heart: A Nordic Trac. This person states, "I am not sure if the message was your fat or not, but let's just say I was not thrilled."
Bronze Heart: A book on making love. "Sounds good but it sure can make a gal insecure," says an anonymous voter.

Most of the runner-ups were household appliances and tools. What is this fascination for appliances? Ironically, a recent study revealed that the number of clean homes are declining due to women in the workforce. Although these gifts are practical, they are, nonetheless, unromantic. Runner-ups include the following:
A vacuum
A blender
Cleaning supplies
A Black & Decker screwdriver
A power steering hose
A toaster
A broom

I was asked the question: "So how do we end this? A handshake or a high five?"
Divorce Court. (You'd think the judge would schedule other types of cases for that day, right?)
A pear. Yes! A damn pear! I wanted a pear shaped diamond. But, I got.. an actual pear!