Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he's not the man she married?
-- Barbra Streisand
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
-- Benjamin Franklin
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
-- Bette Midler
Marriage - a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.
-- Beverly Nichols
There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time... Husband!
-- Bill Maher
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
-- Billy Connolly
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
-- Billy Crystal
A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.
-- Brendan Francis